I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
