Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
