The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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