Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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