spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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