Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
