After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
