So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
God, I missed his penis.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
