so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
