I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think your dad took our porno
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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