He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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