I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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