PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
