i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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