i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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