This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
