What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
