I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
