coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He? As in you personified your dick?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
