Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
