Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
