Dual....:-)
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You can't just leave with hair like that
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
