why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
