I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
