that's an acceptable place to lick
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
