Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
