yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
