he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
