he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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