We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
