so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
