maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And then he peed in my hair
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