Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
