Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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