thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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