So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just high enough for therapy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
