you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
