guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
