quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
