Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
