"it" just moved
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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