Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
