I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
