you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
