I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
