I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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