I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
