You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
