I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
