I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize