i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
