so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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