how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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