I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
