she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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