I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
