I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
