my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
