my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
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Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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