So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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