I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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