This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
