all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
