I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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