So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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