Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
