I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
